The Interview

Just got a tape of an interview Jim Hendry had with Ryne Sandberg and Mike Quade. Here’s how it played out

 

(Ryne and Mike walk in)

Jim Hendry: Hey guys, ho’s it going. Come in and sit down

Mike Quade: Nice to see you Mr. Hendry

Ryne Sandberg: Jim, hello

Jim: Here have a donut

Mike: oh no no I don’t want to eat any of your donuts

Jim: ah don’t worry I got 5 boxes still

Mike: please Mr. Hendry, no I can’t

Ryne: well I’ll have one

Jim: oh ok well here you Ryne

Ryne: hey glazed donut…thats good Jim!

Jim: alright well I brought you both here so we could all do this interview together. I thought it would be more conveient.

Mike: Thats a great idea Mr. Hendry

Jim: well thank you Mike. 1st question is…..favorite donut?

Mike:Well Mr. Hendry I like all donuts. I don’t think 1 donut is better than the other. They are all superb.

Jim: hmmm good answer..you Ryne?

Ryne: umm I don’t know. I suppose glazed??

Jim: ok ok….2nd question….if you ahd to choose between a hot dog or a chili dog what you picking?

Mike: Well I go with the chili dog. Th emore unhealthy the better

Ryne: excuse me but what does this have to do with baseball?

Jim: its important, whats your answer Ryne?

Ryne: uhh a hot dug with mustard

Jim: and???

Ryne: relish?

Jim: hmmmm ok

Mike: weak lol

Jim: you can say that again

Ryne: can we go on please?

Jim: sure sure…ok if there’s a runner on 1st with 1 out and you put on a steal and he gets thrown out..what do you say to the player??

Mike: hey it’s ok keep your hea dup…lets go boys!

Ryne: I would say run harder you pu**y!!!!

Jim: woah! Ryne calm down now

Ryne: what? No reason why he should be out

Mike: well he may not have good speed

Ryne: then why the hell are we sending him

Jim: Ryne! Please watch the language

Ryne: ok ok sorry

Jim: Mike..you had success last year when you took over for Old Lou, why?

Mike: well it’s because I let the veterans do what they want. I wasn’t going to try to be their boss’

Jim: Ryne how would you handle the veterans

Ryne: like their scum! You play hard or you get splinters on you ass

Mike: Language!

Jim: Yes watch your language come on!

Ryne: sorry I just get fired up!

Jim: speaking of fied up….I’m gonna fire up the oven and bake a ocuple cakes after this

Mike: Mind if I join?

Jim: of course now..ill pop in another rone for you

Mike: Oh boy

Ryne: what the hell is this?

Jim: I love angel food cake

Mike: so do I…so delicious

Ryne: are we gonna talk baseball or not?

Jim: ummm I made my decision..mike the job is yours

Mike: YES!

Ryne: take it..your gonna be managing under a idiot g.m. Anyway

Jim: oh come on Ryne..join us for cake and ice cream

Mike: hey ice cream to!

Jim: whats cake without ice cream?

Ryne: patchetic good bye (slams door)

Mike: attitude problem

Jim: no doubt.. come on mike lets go!

 

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